What’s New?

Missing first paragraph?

Do you remember a few years ago when Steve Jobs popped a cork about a supplier who let slip a product announcement the day before the Keynote. I forget who or what it was, what I remember was the angry iCEO. This was long before I had any intentions of becoming a writer, but I had sent good ‘ol Steve an e-mail. I’ve been in that habit of doing so, to offer suggestions, congratulations, and complaints. (I consider myself an equal opportunity blowhard.)

Anyway, blowhards are what I want to discuss. What exactly is news? In my letter then to Steve Jobs I suggested that new hardware was not exactly a surprise. Detroit rolls out new models every year whether they are needed or not. Everyone (should) know that the selling cycle is a bunch of hype, and acting like a used car salesman only draws attention away from the car. MacWorld is just a car show for geeks. Beyond a small universe, and those waiting to make a purchase, no one really cares.

Did you see the new toaster from Black & Decker? This years model has..bla bla bla. Who cares. I think Maytag invented a washing machine that uses so little hot water that it can pay for itself over a few years. The fact that it is new and better didn’t move me to go buy a new washing machine. Mac stuff is just stuff. Good stuff. Better than a PC usually. Fun and powerful. It lets you do new things, and old things better, but “New” is a vague concept. My IIsi with a 12″ screen was new one day, and it was wonderful. If I had to live on 16mhz today I think I would read a book instead.

So what’s new? Besides technology, not much. My kids watch movies that are remakes of old movies. Sitcoms play the same situations over and over again. The players change, but the love triangles and other plot formats remain. If something strikes a chord with viewers, it gets picked up by other writers and networks. Like lemmings over a cliff, our culture goes rushing to whatever is the next hottest thing.

Since technology is the only thing new, it is always important to include new technology in the same old remade products. Automobiles come with ABS Brakes. Computers come with NVidia Cards. Whatever is new is better, since it must have been made to replace the old, which was inferior. In the lack of anything different, “more” will substitute. More roomy, more horsepower. If you can’t make it better, make it bigger. Or, like the miniPod, make it smaller and call it better. Whatever you do, make sure you call it new and better. Don’t admit a blunder. Wrap it up in the next improvement, and bury it at sea with a heavy rock.

So, what’s new? Well, if you look in the newspaper, nothing. The news stories have been the same as they have always been. America is at war. The Church is pissed off at somebody. People are complaining about jobs, healthcare, taxes and inflation. The weather is changing, and the prediction is days late. A new technology was invented. People’s shopping habits are changing. A big company got caught either screwing its employees or customers or both. Too much fraud is keeping the government working overtime. Somebody in authority has betrayed their trust. Someone will tell you that this is an especially critical moment in history (I’ve fallen into that one lately), and that everything is going to hell in a hand basket. (whatever that means.)

The world has journalists all over the world checking facts and making sure we all know “what’s new.” The salespeople are doing the same thing with their latest gizmo. The question that gnaws me is the opposite. Why is it that nothing is new? Why doesn’t this new technology and all these machines doing the work of literally hundreds of men not make a difference? Why is what’s new exactly the same as what’s old?

Think Different? Hmmm. Even revolution is an old idea.