Twas the Night before Macworld

Twas the night before Macworld
And all through the Moscone
All the faithful were gathering
Being fed by blogging boloney

The banners were hung
round the North hall so bare
But still they were covered
Like last year with the MacBook Air

The fanboys were all sleeping
In hotels far and near
With visions of new Macs
Dancing through their neckbeards

When out by the West hall
there arose such a clatter
I jumped off my hotel WiFi
To see what’s the matter

Tore open the curtains
And looked out across the Bay
A sled did appear
Pulled by eight charged Segways

The driver was tall
In his hand a keyfob
And I knew in a moment
It must be Steve Jobs

Much faster than board meetings
His sled was so quick
While skinnier than most
It was clear he’s not sick

He whistled and laughed
With a beard that was grayer
Than any sappy song
Done in solo by John Mayer

On Cook! On Schiller!
On Forstall and on Ive!
Let’s get through this Macworld
While we’re all still alive!

They stamped and they shouted
Oh Steve you must speak!
Our stock price is tanking
And Apple appears weak!

Our products are strong
and our volumes increasing
But we fear for our future
At junkets when you’re not speaking

He tightened his smile
And many did gasp!
He said, “Look to yourselves
In this future you grasp”

And I heard him exclaim
“Listen well an listen fast
Merry Macworld to all
For it’s probably our last”