Tool Freaks of the World, Unite!

Moe: “Get the Tools”.
Larry: “What tools?”
Moe: “The tools we been using for the last ten years!”
Larry: “Oh, Those Tools!”. Classic Three Stooges Bit.

Folks, in this outing, I’d like to talk about something very dear to my heart. No, it’s not cycling, although the season is rapidly approaching. And no, it’s not Tyra Banks, other than to say “Don’t I wish!” No, I want to write about some things I use and cherish every day, some things I just think are cool. What are these things? It’s tools. Man, I love tools! Since I had my first set of plastic toy tools, I’ve been fascinated by them. I know, I’m in the same boat as a lot of red-blooded American males, but so what? Tools are great. By Profession, I’m an electronics technician, and as such, I’ve spent many hours pouring over the latest catalogs from companies such as Contact East, http://www.contacteast.com/ and You-Do-It Electronics. http://www.youdoitelectronics.com/. And to think, on the job, I get paid to do this, when we need to order stuff! I am something of a regular at the website of Xcelite, http://www.cooperhandtools.com/brands/xcelite/ my favorite tool maker. For my money, (And my employer’s money) there is no finer hand tool for electronics work on the market then Xcelite. I’ve been using their tools for decades. One of my favorite items is my Xcelite Service Master roll up kit. This was my first serious tool set, purchased by my mother when I was all of seventeen years old. I think she reluctantly paid $35.95 for it. Well mom, I’d say you got your money’s worth. I still have the tools, and they are still in fine condition, having survived being left in the trunks of various vehicles I’ve owned, greasy tool boxes, rusty lockers at some companies where I’ve worked, and, on one occasion, an attempted theft. (Let’s just say the brain stem who attempted to steal my tools won’t make that mistake again, unless he truly has the I.Q. of a door knob.) I had to buy a new roll-up case about five years ago for it, as the original case finally gave out. The tools are still fine though, after more than thirty years of almost daily use. Today, the Xcelite Service Master kit retails for about $160.00, from suppliers such as Contact East. Yeah, Xcelite tools are expensive, but as near as I can tell, you only buy them once, they’re that good.

For Bicycle tools, I like the very nicely made tools offered by Park Bicycle Tool.
http://www.parktool.com/ Park has been around since 1963. Their bicycle tools, cone wrenches, spoke wrenches, headset tools, wheel truing stands, pedal wrenches, and their wonderful chain tool, (Part number CT-5) can be found in bicycle shops the world over, and for good reason: They’re just darn good tools, which refuse to die. For some time, Park only sold their products to shops, but beginning with the bicycle boom of the 1970’s, they began marketing their tools to consumers. That was a fine idea. Park is not the only maker of professional bicycle tools though. Pedro’s, a Massachusetts based company, http://www.pedros.com/ makes many fine products for cyclists, including some fine tools. They make a tool which consists of the most common metric allen wrenches, a flat screwdriver, and one torx driver, with a grip designed to fit your hand comfortably, and fit into your under-seat bag easily. You bet I carry one. Uh, by the way, if you are using tools on your bikes which were not designed for bicycle service, please stop it. With companies such as Park, Pedro’s, and Spin Doctor producing such cool bicycle tools, at reasonable prices, there is no defense for not using the right tool for the job. Never mind “the way dad did it”. (In all probability, dad did it wrong.)

Ahh, automotive tools. I must admit that in my crazy youth, I got caught up in the car culture, and as a result, I collected many automotive tools, probably more than I should have. Most of my automotive tool collection consists of socket wrenches of various types. 3/8″ drives, and a few 1/2″ drives. Every one bears the name “Craftsman”. Today, when I stroll through the the tool department at Sears, (I can feel the testosterone surging through my body now!) I’m not sure what to make of Craftsman tools. Oh sure, they still have their famous lifetime guarantee, and they have a fine selection, but I just don’t think the quality of the hand tools is as good as it used to be. This brings up the question of who makes what tools for whom. This website http://www.team.net/www/morgan/tech/whotools.html asks that very question, and suggests a few possible answers. In my own opinion, I feel people are entitled to know who makes their tools. Still, Sears still backs every tool with their lifetime warranty. I should mention that I recently purchased a Craftsman fluorescent work light. This is a darn nice thing to have, and it is very nicely made, with a very solid industrial casing, and nice feeling hand grip. But, it bears the words “Made in China”, and as I’ve said before, this concerns me. I’ve never owned a Snap-On tool, but I’ve used a few. Their quality and style of tool making is unmatched by anyone. Their prices are up there though, as I’m sure a lot of mechanics already know. (I understand Snap-On produces a lower cost line of tools for sale through Loews stores. Anyone know for certain? I’ve never been in a Loews.) I guess the bottom line is simple enough: If you can afford Snap-on, and can get together with one of their on-the-road dealers, go for it. (And yes, I do miss their calendar. Damn P.C. police!) There are many other makers of fine tools for automotive work, such as Matco, Mac and Husky, (Home Depot’s house brand) to list here. Your brand of tool is, like so many other things, a matter of personal preference. Again, I feel you deserve to know where your tools were made, and by whom.

Something has come along in recent years, and I think it is darn fine thing. That would be the advent of the modern tool bag. Tool Bags are not new, they’ve been around for decades. Perhaps you had a grandfather who carried his tools about in a long, heavy canvas sack. Well, the modern tool bag is made of tough, water resistant, nylon pack material, with comfortable padded handles, padded bottom, and more pockets to put things in than you can count. Gentlemen, if you have not tried a tool bag, give it shot. They are wonderful. They can be easily stored in a closet, car trunk, or even by the night stand. (Which is where mine is at this moment. Us bachelors get away with things you married guys can only dream of. My fixed-gear bike is presently leaning against my bedroom wall.) The tool bag I keep my electronics tools in is a Bucketboss brand, “Gatemouth Junior”. http://www.bucketboss.com/ This is just the right size, and holds my Xcelite kit, Triplett meter, http://www.triplett.com/ and assorted screwdrivers, pliers, diagonal cutters, test leads, RJ-45 Crimper, and whatever. It can be purchased at Sears for about twenty bucks. I just may buy a second one for my bicycle tools, they’re that good. Tool bags are much easier than heavy, clunky tool boxes, and they don’t seem to slam around as much. Oh yeah, you won’t stub your toe in the middle of the night on a tool bag. (Hey, it happens to the best of us.)

What about tools for the home handyman? Alas, as a confirmed apartment dweller, this is something I know very little about. The closest I come to “working around the house” is hanging the occasional picture. To do that, I must drill a 1/16″ pilot hole, before hammering in the nail which supports the picture hanger. It’s the only way I can hammer a nail straight. In short, when it comes to handyman work, I’m all thumbs. Oh yeah, to make sure a picture I’ve just hung up is level, I use a craftsman pocket level. It’s plastic, and has a dandy pocket clip. Isn’t that amazing?

There is one thing every red-blooded man absolutely, positively must own, and that would be a cordless drill! Come on guys, you know this is true. Everyone must own a drill, there is simply no way around it. My drill is nothing to really yell about though. It’s a Black and Decker model 9020, purchased in 1986, when cordless drills were really taking off, but well before they became the engineering marvels they are now. Nothing fancy about it at all. It’s black, not the industrial orange, blue, or yellow commonly used today. The batteries are not replaceable. No, you have to charge this one for about six hours, and it’s maximum speed is a wimpy 500 RPMs. I’d love to move up to a more modern Makita or DeWalt, but damn it, this B & D still runs just fine, despite it’s limitations. The batteries still charge and they show no sign of quitting. So, I keep it. Still, I just can’t resist eyeballing those Makitas and DeWalts. (Is it true that Black and Decker owns the DeWalt name?) Sorry ladies, it’s in our DNA, and there is not a thing anyone can do about it. In fact, there’s so much testosterone in the tool department at Sears on a Saturday morning, I’m surprised hair isn’t growing on the floor. I don’t think a sudden parade of Hooter’s Girls would get the minds of most men off the tools. (Be a tough call though, wouldn’t it?)

Well, it’s time for me to find some electronic gee-gaw to take apart. Hey, I’ve got the tools, and I know how to use them. And guys, why are you reading, when you could be doing something, anything, in the garage?