The Migraine Litanies

You wake up one morning and GW Bush is reelected as US President

You wake up one morning and GW Bush is NOT reelected as US President

You wake up one morning and civil war broke out in Iraq

You wake up one morning and civil war broke out in the US

You wake up one morning and you been drafted by the Army

You wake up one morning feeling healthy because you are a vegetarian and
found out that tofu causes Alzheimer’s

You wake up one morning but your Powerbook won’t

You wake up one morning and the verdict on the former Enron executives’ criminal
trial is NOT GUILTY

You wake up one morning and the police are knocking at your door

You wake up one morning and a group of Jehovah’s Witnesses are knocking at
your door

You wake up one morning and your Uncle Freddy the Freeloader is knocking
at your door

You wake up one morning and the local news caught you on video with your
fly open.

You wake up one morning and you find that fish stock in your local river
is declining

You wake up one morning and you are having fish for breakfast.

You wake up one morning on a park bench, vaguely remembering Malone’s bar
and 6 pitchers of beer

You wake up one morning in jail, vaguely remembering Malone’s bar and 6 pitchers
of beer

You wake up one morning and there is strange woman in your bed, vaguely remembering………

You wake up one morning and there is a strange MAN in your bed, vaguely remembering…..

You wake up one morning and city officials banned certain
breeds of dogs as pets

You wake up one morning and Rick James is dead

You wake up one morning and found your mom french kissing Santa Claus

You wake up one morning realizing Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter
Bunny are not real

You wake up one morning and realized you forgot to plug back your defrosting
refrigerator.

You wake up one morning and you run straight back to bed

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On another matter, any of you have 7 million dollars to spare that I can
borrow? I like to buy a town. It
has 7 apartment buildings, 92 houses, several recreational facilities, a hospital
and a shopping mall with electricity and cable infrastractures already in
place.

We all know Chris alliterations and links are so popular that it is becoming
a daily staple for most of us. It is way up there together with coffee in
the morning and shaving. And with everyone sending
him gazillion much more cooler links than I have, you might notice that
my link contributions are showing up in lesser frequency on his blogs. That
is understandable since I can imagine my links always end up at the bottom
of his “Links to Use” pile (or maybe in the garbage pile). So with his permission,
I sure hope he doesn’t mind if I add one in here.

This is a bit morbid but for those who have a stronger stomach and a curiosity
that is killing them, check out the Death
Clock.

US Presidential Debate is fast approaching. Here is a funny spin on it

Pencilmation rules!!