The French and April 1st

So many topics and so little time! Where to begin? Oh, let’s just start with France. By now most Macheads know about France’s latest flirtation with insanity, trying to force all online content providers to use the same format for digital music. I don’t know if that includes movies, but since that market is really just now starting to heat up, we’ll leave them out of it for.

This wasn’t aimed at Apple in particular; it just affects them the most since they have the largest marketshare. So how is this supposed to work anyway? Is Apple supposed to start selling music in the Windows Media or Real formats? Shyeah, like that’s going to happen. Or are they expected to open up FairPlay (there’s a mislable) for all other online providers to use as well. Either way, Apple will most likely just close up the iTunes store. I’m sure they’ll still sell iPods and continue with the French version of iTunes as a means of organizing and cataloging your music. On the downside, now that videos are becoming more popular, the French iPod consumers will miss out on all those Jerry Lewis movies that will eventually be available. ZOOT ALORS!

All kidding aside, I think all sides of this argument are becoming overblown. If France forces all content providers to remove the DRM, most of the copyright holders will likely just stop selling digital content to the French. So where will they go? Probably right to P2P networks. I keep waiting for someone to say, ‘HAHA! We were just kidding (please say this with a Clouseaun accent)!’

I’m sure this was done with the best of intentions and no money was given (wink wink) to any politician that is pushing this law through. The consumer was first and foremost in the minds of those hard-working and honest French lawmakers whose integrity is surely as guaranteed as our own (U.S.) selfless and well-meaning legislature. In other words, I trust them about as far as I can throw them.

I’ve read many an opinion that this is to prevent an Apple monopoly from doing the same kind of damage that Microsoft’s monopoly has supposedly caused. This is of course a load of manure since you can buy a plethora of different digital music players and there are certainly many digital music stores you can buy content from. The market CHOSE Apple’s iPod. Why? Because they have what many believe to be a superior solution for digital music playback with a unique hardware and software solution. Microsoft, other than Apple, has no competition and invented creative ways to prevent anyone else from playing in their sandbox. What about Linux you might say? Well, you might say that. I wouldn’t. Linux is a very robust OS with a lot going for it, but it doesn’t have FULL MS Office compatibility. It doesn’t even have the library of games that many Windows apologists are so fond of. Lastly, it doesn’t speak with one voice. Until someone takes the horns of Linux development, and creates some standards that everyone can agree on, Linux will always be an also-ran. But I believe I’m rambling which is as good a time as any to change the subject.

Apple’s 30th birthday is coming up and the rumor mills are going crazy with speculation of what Apple might release. Tallying up the votes, I see iPod phones, True Video iPods, more Intel Macs, and maybe a replacement for the long in the tooth G4 iBook. So far, Apple has made no announcement of any kind regarding an April 1st release of squat. Loyal readers of mine (both of you) are no doubt aware of my somewhat less than stellar record of predicting future Apple products, processors, software, hardware, digital content, and the special of the day in the Apple campus cafeterias. Since I’m nothing if not inconsistent, I won’t let past miserable failures to detect trends stop me now. Please make note that you heard this first at MyMac.com. AHEM! I predict that Steve Jobs on April 1st, will wake up and get out of bed. He will put on comfortable slacks, sneakers, and a black mock-turtle shirt. He will then go to his office and begin cackling with delight over the plaintive wailing from most of the Mac Press over the absolute lack of any new products for this day. Said Mac Press will spend at least a week explaining why they were so very wrong but really wasn’t. This is also referred to in some circles as covering your ass when you’ve said something amazingly stupid.

Now having made that prediction, Apple will make ME look like an idiot and release something so amazingly cool that Microsoft will bend over and submit to the brutal OS beating that they so richly deserve. Bill Gates will convert to Buddhism and give away all his riches. Or maybe by making both predictions I will have completely screwed up the Space/Time continuum and we’ll be forced back into the Stone Age counting rocks and avoiding nasty T-Rexes or something.