Saved by the ‘net

Today I finally came to terms with some facts:

a) I needed to refinance my home

b) my penis, while perfectably serviceable for urinating, was far too small to satisfy any lovers I may have

c) I had to to find an online casino, so I that I could partake of less than favorable odds in the comfort of my own home

e) the pain medications to deal with my chronic papercuts were just too difficult to come by, if only I could find a way to get schedule three narcotics delivered to my door

Lastly, there has been an aching in my heart, a crater in my soul because

e) I could not help the wife/nephew of a deposed dictator.

So I’d like to thank the following people:

NMW@MINTPLATFORM.COM, your refinancing plan worked for me. Color me convinced. Gosh, how ever did you know, that I, a complete stranger needed your fine service? I will also note that your fees are bit high, all things considered I lost money on your deal but at least I have the refinance monkey off my back.

theresa_rose_zw@minedu.fi
Honestly Theresa I was unaware that my penis was too small, thanks to your timely e-mail I can enlarge my member via a simple patch. I thank you, my lovers will certainly thank you (if I have occaision to have a lover) my only request is that your patch in the future address my clumsy fumbling hands and substandard prose. Additionally a really well made patch could regrow the finger I lost in the rice thresher as a boy.

veronica@daz20128eyy.com
the online casino you recommended was far better than I expected. I anticipated a thinly veiled attempt to separate me from my cash. Imagine my surprise when the attempt wasn’t all that thinly veiled.

besxeyiowcwy@witty.com
Thanks for the online pharmacy info. I can finally have drugs delivered directly to my home. I will note that your pharmacy must be very popular as there is an unmarked van parked in front of my house. It bothers me until I get enough oxycontin in my system

bwlqvfi@tom.com
Thank you for choosing me out of all the people on the net to recieve your generous offer. I agree your deposed husband was treated badly, I suppose that’s par for the course if you’ve ruled for years with a bloodstained iron fist, and I will be more than happy to help you further steal from the citizens of your downtrodden country.

Well now that I have the thank you stuff out of the way I can focus on the usual blog fodder:

Reno 911 is probably very offensive to two of my friends but it’s one funny show. Honestly, if I were forced to chase someone down wearing the government issued bat belt every criminal that could jog would still be free

this is a pretty good game

Finally the following clip features the best example of comedic timing ever

Sorry the clip won’t play for you Carmel, it’s folks mixing chlorine and alcohol