Reader Mail

You do something often enough then suddenly stop doingsaid thing and people are bound to wonder what happened. So when I stopped posting I got a few mails asking what was going on. Let’s take a look at representative sample:

Dude, what happened are you dead?

I let the punctuation and capitalization issues slide and answered:

Yes

Which isn’t strictly true but I thought the fact of the reply might alleviate any worry (or dash any hopes). Truth is I’ve just been busy. First Todd’s wedding, then a paying article (why would anyone pay me? drunk I guess) and so forth.

Let’s take a moment to carefully examine the e-mail:
Dude, what happened are you dead?
What we see here is a simple request for information, there is no exhortation for me to actually resume posting, no mention of the missing links, no mention of buying my tshirts (set of three, well worn, gray, size extra large, make offer) . This tells me something: I am the Zotz candy of mymac. Well not the entire piece of candy, just the middle part. And that’s all I’ve got to say abou…

What’s that you say? I’m referencing a candy no one remembers? My use of a literary tool is wasted owing to the obscurity of the citation? Allow me to elaborate. Zotz candy construction was not unlike Tootsie pops (at least for me, there were non sucker Zotz). Zotz featured the ubiquitous hard candy shell but the tasty chocolaty center was replaced with a concotion that caused massive amount of foam. I’m not entirely sure what the chemical composition was but I’m betting it was ground up Alka Seltzer tablets, the taste was eerily similar. Now you’re wondering how all this fits together.

Please allow further elaboration: See the hard candy hull represents mymac in general, a tasty satisfying treat (and the shell on Zotz was my favorite). The unexpected foamy ohmigodmychildhasrabies interior represents my postings. People who click on my stuff instantly go from interesting, germane discussions to a car wreck of a blog, they don’t want to read it but somewhere, down deep, they’re hoping to get back to the tasty candy. Just like Zotz, it never happens.

Oh yeah, the stick. That, of course, represents man’s inhumanity to man.

now…back with a vengence…

Bauhuas Baileys Big Basket of Baleful Beatitudes (yeah, it doesn’t really work but appreciate the alliteration man!)

The Bailey Approved Section:
Industrious Clock I wish I could this this thing to repalce the standard Mac clock.

Interesting news: Golf Ball Stealing Squirrels Yep, they’ll sell them back to you at the turn. B@stard Squirrels.

Bailey Approved Pic (just excellent):

Non Bailey Approved Stuff:

Useful tips I should heed: gaping void: how to be creative My tip for them: Expanding Crater: How to Capitalize

This video has been around for quite awhile. It still cracks me up. Perhaps next time they roleplay they could pretend they don’t live in their parents basement.
LIGHTNING BOLT! LIGHTNING BOLT! (sleep) LIGHTNING BOLT!

Time for the tridiot rating. My time spent not posting was nit wasted because I managed to hack into the Bat Computer. In record time the result was returned: 109.65324%

Bonus Coverage: Subserviant President