I’ve noticed that there seems to a proliferation of showmercials lately. American Chopper, American Hotrod, Extreme Makeover, Trading Spaces, basically everything except Futurama. Hey whatever occupies eyeballs, right?
The odd thing is that TV seems to be trending towards homogeny instead of diversity. This was not the promise of cable and satellite TV, the promise was that we’d have a bunch of wildly different shows catering to our diverse interests and what not. I suppose it could be explained by noting that our preferences are really pretty similar but geeze I expect a little more out of TV than 50 shows about redecorating.
Of course programmers and producers must kowtow to the almighty rating, after all if no one is watching what is the point? (here I would make an example of my stuff but..) None of this really bothers me. Or rather it wouldn’t bither if PBS wasn’t going the same way.
The PBS tagline is “If PBS doesn’t do it, Who will?” Freakin anyone will do anything that pulls a rating. My station plays Sesame Street twice a day, TWICE. On the weekends it is basically a HGTV station. In my opinion, unless PBS is unwatchable, it is failing.
I’m tempted to explain the joke above, but wouldn’t that ruin it?
I get a lot of mail and it generally reads as follows:
Chris,
I don’t read your posts but if I did I would only read the Bailey parts.
Why people mail me telling me they don’t read is beyond my ken but I appreciate it just the same. Of course if you read yesterdays post you’ll note that the only comment (I don’t get many comments cause of the general suckiness and all) was a comment by Bailey. It read as follows “:(”
Apparently this was an “emoticon” and what it said was: Bailey sad. Note Bailey did not deny the threat of legal action, he was just sad I mentioned it. So I’m not typing “Bailey” anymore. I could get sued back to the stone age if I type “Bailey” even one more time. Nossir “Bailey” is off limits. Not going to type “Bailey”.
So I decided to do a little research about he who cannot be named. I know people want the ____ stuff but I can’t type the ______ name. Turns out _____ is actually the inspiration for Kaiser Soze. Kaiser Soze was the baddest movie character ever, how kickin? Soze was mythical. So I don’t want to mess with Kaiser*.
*you cynics out there might think that I’m just trying to find a different consonant for alliteration. Fiends! Stop hounding my every step!
Kaiser’s Kilted Kornocopia of Kraftily Kontrived Killer Kludge
Excellent link from Roger:
Stripcreator.com
You get a random comic strip, addicting.
Time Travel Fund User Agreement
Pay this guy ten bucks and he’ll store your name in a database. When time travel becomes possible they’ll send someone to retrieve you and take to the future. No guarantees. I talked to Baile the Kaiser about this and he thought we could do a little better. Here’s the deal for a mere 15 US dollars (1,000 Canadian) you can join the Kaiser/Seibold time travel fund. We guarantee pickup in five minutes after we recieve the funds. If you’re not picked up in a quick five we’ll refund half your money. We also offer insurance in case the future folks turn out to be right bastards, you know: knock on your door in their shiny silver suit, when you answer it they punch you right in the gut using super future kung fu and steal your wallet. The insurance against this kind of under handed future type attack is a mere five bucks. Yes we take paypal.
Alton Brown’s Blog
My fave TV chef pontificates sporadically, but the reason to read is the major wimp out on a weight loss deal.
Virtual Knee Replacement Game
For those of you who’ve had knee (like me) surgery it’s big fun. For those you haven’t had knee surgery, well schedule one tomorrow (I recommend total joint replacement) so you can really enjoy the game.
Linux WAYYYY more expensive than Windows?
Depends on the hardware.
If there’s one thing I hate it’s band photos. You know the ones you see on telephone posts on cheesy colored paper where the band members are all pensively staring at the camera trying to communicate strictly through halftones just how deep they are. Then you go to the show and every song is about boy inserting penis in female and you think “Hey you swine that’s what I think about all day,every day? Why doesn’t anyone sing about Kierkegaard?” I thought those picture were annoying but I’ve to admit I live a sheltered life cause I’d never been exposed to the:
Top Ten most ridiculous of Black Metal Pics of All Time
Fantastic Apple/Microsoft article. I mean if you were on a desert island and you could only read one Apple/Microsoft article forever you’d want to read this one over and over and over and over.
Microsoft and Apple: Competing Again
A link solely for the benefit of Bai..errr The Kaiser:
Macs in Canada
My old site sealclubbing.com is now run by a guy named Thor. And Thor’s a really cool name, you pretty much trump anyone who isn’t named Odin. So I e-mailed Thor last night and ribbed him about “stealing” my site. He took it seriously so I thought I’d give him a little pub.
The New and Improved:
SealClubbing.com
Support Thor, send Thor money, visit the site often. Otherwise Thor may be forced to do this again.
I detest Barney, my kid doesn’t watch Barney, I made up a pornographic song sung to the tune of Barney. Die Barney die. No Problem:
Barney Minesweeper
Gay Comic Book Characters
How are Bruce Wayne and Robin not on the list? it’s a no brainer…. DC sucks
Tridiot Rating: That’s a lot of links, it’s got to prretty good right? Not according to Vtech Laser2. To present the rating (since I turned-thirty-freaking-kill-me-now-six on Tuesday) I used Tombstone Generator
The result below:
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