Overheard at the Expo during Macworld 2006 San Francisco:
Near the ETYMOTIC RESEARCH premium in-ear headphone booth:
“I’m so sick and tired of all these expensive fancy gimmick earbuds. One bite from my schnauzer and I’m out several hundred bucks, not to mention if he swallows a couple of those foam covers. Anyway, what’s the long term effect of listening to loud music at close range? A bunch of old, deaf people with tattoos from Y2K on their saggy rear ends? Give me a pair of decent over-ear traditional headphones, maybe a Bluetooth set, and I’ll be happy.”
Inside the MICROSOFT booth:
“See those banners? What a waste of money and space! This entire display could fit inside a ten foot booth. Do you BELIEVE Micros**t, thinking we’re gonna sit here a watch a fake video of some supposed real person talking about how great Office is? I was expecting to see Office 2006 or 2007 announced by Roz Gung Ho or whatever her name is. Hey, Microsoft, give us better software or cheaper or something new, not the same old same old.”
Looking at the XTREME MAC enormous display and sales area:
“How much scratch did this new company spend on having the largest booth here at the show? I bet it cost them ten thousand bucks to get that sexy girl to walk on the treadmill for ten hours every day. When do I get to spend some quality time with her, how about that? Anyway, if they want to make a strong impression, they’re doing a decent job, but who are they really and what do they sell, aside from a few cables and adapters? Beats me.”
Waiting in line to buy at the O’REILLY PUBLISHING booth:
“Can you believe what I just heard? Something like this from those two over there. Guy #1 says have you seen that Photoshop expert any place this year, you know, the one who writes the best books? Guy #2 says sure, I just heard him talk, his name is Deke McClelland, and I’m picking up his newest book, see it right here. Guy #1 says nope, not Deke, I mean the other one, from Photoshop User. Guy #2 says oh you mean Scott Kelby, yeah, he’s good, but Deke is better, did you ever try to actually READ one of Kelby’s books, ’cause they read like he was dictating them in a hurry, and I know he’s a top seller and all that but for my money long term forget him and look at this one by Deke I’ve got it right here.”
Shoulder to shoulder outside the tiny SHURE ELECTRONICS booth:
“Holy s**t, do these sound great! I don’t care if they cost five hundred bucks, I’m gonna save up and buy their top of the line earbuds for both my home stereo and my new videopod. By the way, I just heard that fellow from Shure say that you’ll need to load your music uncompressed on your iPod if you want to get your money’s worth from their supersonic earbuds, because the sound reproduction is so amazing all the artifacts and compression squeezing is immediately apparent from the Shure set. Oh well, I was thinking about doing that already, but it’s sure, ha ha, get it? Sure — Shure going to take a h**l of a long time and a ton of space on that new iPod, but certainly worthwhile.”
Leaving the keynote presentation:
“I’m gonna go on eBay or Apple online or wherever I can and buy up as many 15″ PowerBooks, this final G4 generation, as I can, because once people get a load of the new Mac Pro Books or whatever they’re called they’ll wish they had a real Macintosh instead of some Intel garbage, no matter what Steve says. And don’t get me started on FireWire 800 gone and all the other port and card slot issues that will come up in the first gen of Intel laptops. This is gonna be BIIIIIGGG, you watch, and I don’t think anybody else realizes it.”
Looking at the INTEGO SECURITY castle complex:
“Ha! Somebody’s not paying attention, but these people definitely are. One day soon every Macintosh in the world is going to have a bunch of viruses and spyware and whoknowswhat else, and Intego is way ahead of the curve, but only a tiny fraction of Mac owners know what’s around the corner. I’m definitely picking up several CDs or licenses or however they sell their stuff, with the show special of only seventy bucks for the trio instead of that price for each one on its own normally.”
Listening at the TECHNE MEDIA tiny booth:
“What’s the name of the company and the product? Who the h**l are these people? You see that guy on the computer? He moves his mouse, hey, watch the colors on that big screen, anyway when he moves the cursor amazing sounds and noises and really it’s music comes out of those speakers, all based on some algorithm and preset tonality, but for free form composition or improvising or stage shows it’s 1968 all over again, except this time you’re in control of it instead of the other way around. But what’s the software and how do I get it? Beta or final release? Don’t see the name anyplace, or the price. Oh wait. Here it is. PIXOUND. Terrible name, great product. Hope it doesn’t die on the vine.”
Walking through the booth maze, far from the ADOBE display:
“Do you BELIEEEEEEEEVE I came all the way here to play with LightBox or whatever that new Adobe Raw Aperture killer is called, and I had to sit through a boring demo? What happened to having a classroom set up, so people here at Macworld can actually get up close and personal with new software? And when is this being released and how much will it cost? Probably not until Thanksgiving, knowing Adobe, probably five hundred bucks too. Oh well, I’ll have to wait but I know a guy who gets early release apps and usually lets me at least try before I buy. Don’t want to get him in trouble now, do I?”
[Plenty more on their way as soon as I can get them posted]
John “Nemo” Nemerovski
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