Legal Beagles

Here’s a must read article about how Apple legal made a little girl cry : http://www.appleinsider.com/article.php?id=1672a that demonstrates a major problem in our society.

This isn’t a story just about Apple, I’m sure many corporations have done similar things. And in the grand scheme of things, one little minor emotional trauma to a little girl, in the form of a form letter, is not exactly a society changing event. But it is an example of problems in America, thanks to the legal beagles braying at everything as a potential lawsuit. The solution to them isn’t to fix the legal system, but to make it worse with dumb policies and a complete lack of common sense.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve worked around HR departments, and understand what you have to do. And I do it too. It is not my place to try to change the world for the corporation, it is more to follow policy. But I can do it, and still note what dumb-ass policies they are. You can’t talk to someone about their personal life in an Interview, because if they don’t get the job they might sue you for discrimination over anything you learn. Forget that they might not just be the best candidate; but if you ask about their family, interests, age, or why a chick has a big hairy adams apple and gang tattoo’s on her neck, that’s grounds for a lawsuit. Personally, I think asking someone about what they like to do on their free time is very insightful; and if they answer, “Go to NAMBLA meetings”, I might question their appropriateness for Boyscout Troop Leader or Priest of my parish — but that’s just me. According to the lawyers it was wrong to both question, or score them appropriately.

Now companies have to make policies against personal blogs, speaking to anyone, saying anything, telling people why they weren’t hired (or were being let go), and even why letters to the CEO offering ideas on features you’d like to see in their products are a bad idea? What a great world this is becoming. But let’s not fix it, and instead just follow the policy.

It reminds me of when I worked for a medical instrument company. They had a heart monitor, with a catheter, that was unplugged when they moved the patient from room to room. Each time it had to be re-plugged in, they had to enter lots of large numbers, and a mistake meant erroneous readings that could result in poor diagnosis and treatment. I spent a weekend fixing things so the instrument could remember the calibration numbers, and reduce errors and save lives, and the Corporate Lawyers told me “thanks, but no thanks”. Seems that while my solution would reduce errors and have saved lives, it would also shift liability from the Hospital (someone else) to the manufacturer (them), and they couldn’t afford that risk. So people died because of the Lawyers, but hey, at least it saved them from a nuisance lawsuit, and that’s what’s important, right? That’s the kind of hidden costs we pay all over our society, because of Lawyers and our legal system. And no one fixes it, or measures those costs, because frankly, we either don’t want to know, or are too stupid to realize.

My question is when are we going to fix it? Who’s going to be the daring organization or organizations to finally make the U.S. a better place, or more common sense place like it used to be? Do what is right, then counter-suit any lawyers themselves that are idiotic enough to suit you in the first place. Or get a bunch of companies together to offer real tort reform, and fire the politicians that resist. Or are we going to all sit around, making more and more moronic corporate policies to protect against any lawsuit that cretins could think up. “You can’t look someone in the eye’s, because it is intimidating to some”, “you mustn’t shake hands, because that requires touch, and that’s sexual harassment or bigotry against those with disease phobias”, and so on. Someone’s going to have to address the ridiculous legal system we have…. and I hope it is sooner, rather than later. Because our system is getting dumber and more inane by the decade.