If you’re looking for reasons to justify a G5 purchase grab thy mouse and click the ubiquitous back button because you’re not going to find any here. I’ve got no justification for a G5 but I need one, as sure as a crack addict needs spark plugs I need a G5. I’ve been wanting one for some time but after yesterday’s encounter I understand that I can’t hide from the technolust.

It starts out with a small thought, a passing “that’d be cool” perhaps like a minor transient itch. The fever spreads and the urge becomes more palpable, an itch best scratched with garden implements. Before the epidermis is completely scraped away leaving a bloody muscles and tendons inviting infection the urge becomes worse, nearly unstoppable. My head thumps as if it was tent spike being driven into hardpan, cold sweat pours of my face, my mouth feels minty clean (it’s not all bad). That’s when I know the technolust has me it its monstrous inescapable clutches. Oh sure, I know the cure, a little bit of mainline G5 goodness sweet and pure. Which seems like the easy path, just spend the long green, hell it’s only money right? If only it were so simple.

Here’s where the justification part comes in. I’m in a relationship, a relationship with joint checking. It’s called marriage and it’s great and all but the downside is that I can’t just drop 2500 on a new Mac and make up the difference by eating Ramen noodles for the next seven years (which I would, I love sodium laced noodles). No, that wouldn’t do. I’ve got to find a reason I need a G5. For the life of me I can’t find one. I mean except for the previously described mega jones. “Cause I’m jonesin” really doesn’t cut it with the spouse.

So now I need a reason, a decent reason for a new G5. My search has been fruitless. Trust me I’ve tried. Looking at my usage pattern I spend most of my computing time typing in these entries and I could probably do that with a Quadra 660AV. I make the occaisional movie, I’d like to make more, but iMovie is holding me back more than the G4 I use. I’m also hard pressed to think of a process where the G4 is the bottleneck and not me. Given up on seti and I’m not a big photoshop gey. Objectively speaking my upgraded semi ancient G4 meets all my needs. Subjectively speaking I’m tired of having the cold shakes as soon as I click off of Apple’s G5 page.

I suppose at some point applications will require a G5 (not aware of any yet) and I’ll be able to say: “Sweetie if I want Maya to work I have to have a G5″ but that day isn’t here, and I don’t use Maya. So basically I need to work on the pitch, or at least come up with some very believable lies. The alternative, waiting longer, is the wisest path but completely unworkable. So far the best idea I’ve come up with is that the desk I built was designed for a G5. Weak, but the G5 does have front facing ports whichh would make my life marginally simpler. I don’t think anyone is going to buy that argument.

If you can think of a reason a hack (hack as in “bad writer” not hack is in “computer genius”) like me needs a G5 let me know. I suspect the response will be zero. But perhaps some really creative person can come with something…anything. I know there are people who actually need a G5 for reaons besides the techno DTs, people who photoshop stuff all day, people who render stuff, people who use Final Cut Pro to make a living. Unfortunately I’m not one of those people. Damn my lack of skills. Damn the long lived usefulness of Macs. I guess I could pray for the processor to blow or even help the process along with a good dollop of computer unfriendly Coke but that’s cheating. Nope, if I want a new Mac I’m going to have to create a need. Well, I’ve been thinking of doing quantum mechanic electrodynamic modeling in my spare time anyway, maybe I’ll need a G5 for that.

Wow, far too much Chris Seibold, far too few links. Time to rectify that error (aka time for blog filler).

I once reviewed Marble Blast (it earned a favorable review) but why spend money when you can get a great version for free? Check out Slickball

But that’s not the game pick. There’s no humor, no violence, nothing that would rate it as worthy game for the daily award (screw you engaging gameplay! I demand MORE)
The game that fits the bill is:
Milk Panic
Very nice.

Excellent read: Perversion Tracker 2004 Design Award Winners
Be sure to check out the Application that’s not really an application

Coolest case of mistaken identity:

Click on pic

Sure they say it’s a fox with mange. Well one guy said it was a hyena. I’m no Steve Irwin but I think the size differential between a fox and a hyena would make one of the options a little less plausible. Plus the fact that hyenas don’t generally roam Owings Mill. Of course the biggest hyena proponent is 12…
It matters not. It’s clearly el Chupacabra! The Goatsucker.

Read Tim’s blog took the test and my superhero name was:
The Magnificent Butt-Kicker

The Magnificent Butt-Kicker??? That’s a superhero name? That’s MY superhero name? Sounds more like a gay porn star to me (which I’m not yet, but I’m gathering a following….) Very dissapointing. If anyone asks I’m going to tell them my super hero name is:
Powdered Toast Man

That’s a whole lot of blog.

Time for the cks/

BL

tridiot rating.

In fact the post was delayed by the tridiot rating when the IBM 650 got bogged down when scanning the part where I mentioned hardpan. This morning the result was irrefutable:
122.09756%
Sweet