Idle Idols

I watched as Tiger Woods methodically eliminated his competition from the final PGA (Professional Golfers’ Association) tournament of the year. The guy has so much poise and talent, not to mention discipline, he has become the world’s greatest at the thing he loves the most. Golf. And the rest of the field ain’t too shabby. There’s nothing wrong with Sergio Garcia or Phil Mickelson. Anyone who can play a sport at the level these guys share is an expert in my book. You can say the same for any sport, in spite of the fact that “sport” is big business. It may be the only business left that demands real expertise from its participants.

Let’s take the music business as an example. You’d think that all the singers and players one might hear on the radio or on records would be experts. People who are dripping with talent, singing and playing songs expertly written by the top writers money can buy. But it doesn’t take a lot of listening before one concludes that not all the music we hear is Grammy material. Quite the opposite. The difference between playing sports professionally and playing music professionally is that music is perception versus performance whereas sports is performance versus perception. Music demands a listener while sports demands only the performance of the participant. Music, subjective. Sports, objective.

If music were a sport most of the people we hear on commercial radio would be on the bench. Yeah, they can play some, sing a little, write a tune, and most of all look like someone who might be interesting. It’s the entertainment field. And it’s totally subjective. If you enjoy someone who sings like a rusty gate then there you go, you’ll find plenty of that, and you’re entertained. If you like profanity you’re in luck, because there’s a preponderance of that, too. There are real melodies and harmonies to be found if you look hard enough. One of the things that bugs me most about the music presented to mass audiences today is the clever but empty arrangements couching the anemic writings of sugar-induced ranters and wannabes.

But we can not forget that the music business is just that. A business. The suits that run these companies couldn’t care less about talent, messages, meanings, or even (gasp) MUSIC. What they care about is selling a product. If they could find a market for screaming monkeys giving birth then this is what they’d sell. That wisecrack may be closer than you’d like to think.

I’m not about to let other businesses off the hook. Take the clothing business. Please. If I see another tee shirt with some cutesy message on it pertaining to one’s prowess in the sack and/or the prodigious size of part of their anatomy, I’m going to walk up to the wearer and ask him to prove it. On the spot. And don’t get me started about the phone companies. I am convinced that soon all humans will be implanted at birth with a device which keeps them in touch with whoever, whenever. Gag me with a spoon.

There can be little of that sort of thing in sports. Okay—a big deal is made of every contest. There’s lots of hype. Our culture is based on economics. We are, after all, a capitalist society. These teams have to sell what they’ve got or they won’t be in business very long. But ultimately the players have to perform. They can either hit or not. They can drain a three pointer or not. They can putt or not. There’s no hype in the world that will make us like them once the score is tallied. If they can’t perform, they will soon be forgotten.

In music (entertainment) it is up to us, the listeners, as to whether or not the performers deserve our undivided attention. This is where the saying “there’s no underestimating the taste of the American public” rings so true. And in spite of this glitch in our artistic psyche, a gem or two will still shine through the rubble.

Some singers (such as Bob Dylan) may not have the technique. They may not have the voice (Bob Dylan again). They may not even look sexy (sorry, Bob). But when it comes to prophetic messages growing from true talent the rest is moot. That’s why a guy like Dylan is still around and guys who tried to sound or be like him are not. He actually has something to say. And he says it like only he can. Does anyone out there think that Fifty Cent is just as lyrical, poetic, brilliant? Sure they do. That’s why he sells records. But no amount of torture could make me say that he could even carry Dylan’s pen, much less compete with him as a writer. And history will bear me out. A hundred years from now people will still be referring to Dylan’s music and lyrics. Hardly anyone will be referring to “Fifty who?” Trust me on that.

As far as other types of music are concerned, they are not without their losers. Just because something is “jazz” doesn’t automatically make it good. Same goes for ‘”classical.” I’ve heard jazz and classical that would kill my plants. It’s not the kind of music that’s the problem. It’s the proliferation of people trying their hands at it. Everyone wants to be a star. Everyone thinks they’re the next American Idol. It takes a certain amount of God-given talent and a bunch of hard work to become really good at something. Enjoying music a lot doesn’t make me a candidate for being a star. Liking sports a lot will not make me quarterback of the Minnesota Vikings.

It wasn’t that long ago that professional sports was the last thing on my mind. But as I age and the world of commerce evolves, I have come to respect and admire athletes as ones who must perform at their very best each time in order to stay viable as athletes. The opposite has become true for most commercial music endeavors. It seems that luck and money, rather than ability, have more to do with success on the radio. And while I can always find something good to say about almost anyone trying sincerely to make music, this does not mean they deserve to be heard by millions of listeners, or looked upon as sonic sages leading the way.

Listen to what you will, people. But please, be discerning, respectful, and open. And when you get a chance, throw a ball around. It’s not as easy as you might think.