I want a REAL Spork!

I want a REAL Spork!

In 1970, the U.S. Patent Office awarded the Spork trademark to the Van Brode Milling Co. Inc.of Clinton, Mass. A plastic combination of a spoon, fork, and knife, you will find these useful utensils at most school cafeterias and some fast food restaurants. But my question is, why is a Spork only a disposable plastic utensil?

I want a REAL Spork! I can buy a metal fork, spoon, knife, etc. But not real Sporks! Why? The Spork is almost the perfect utensil, and the time has come to make the Spork a regular edition to your utensils drawer.

Have you ever eaten canned fruit in a bowl? Sure you have. Everyone has. If you use a fork, you have to stab each piece, one by one, without the benefit of the syrupy goodness they are packaged in. You may get a few drops clung to the fruit, but that is all. If you use a spoon, you are only able to get one piece to stay on at a time, and even then you spend too much time chasing the slippery canned fruit around the bowl. I want to eat here, not chase my food down!

With a Spork, you are able to impale two or three pieces at a time, and then turn the Spork to the side and scoop up some of the syrup! Yum!

Canned vegetables are the same. Ever eat canned corn? If you use a fork, you can only get a few kernels at a time to stick, unless you turn the fork sideways, in which case you usually loose half your load before getting it to your mouth. A spoon? See Fruit above! The perfect solution? A Spork!

So why don’t they make “real” Sporks? Is the rest of the silverware a bunch of snobs who won’t let the poor Spork join the club? Hey, if they will let the Salad Tongs in, why not the Spork? Or is it the whole interracial aspect of the Spork that the “pure” spoons and forks don’t like?

I believe the time is now for the Spork to get its due! It is time for a company like Bed, Bath, and Beyond to open its racist doors and let the Spork in! It is time for WalMart to use the pressure that only the leading retailer in the United States has to put a stop to this unjust utility segregation, opening up the utensil draws of America to all classes of silverware, putting an end to decades of this atrocity!