house sold, now where will I live?

I’ve sold my current residence, now I’m wondering where I’m gonna live.

See, I’ve been busy watching the crews bust ass trying to get my house finished by the closing date. Sheetrock finally complete, closing on the 30th. That means all the fellas have left to do is:
pour the driveway and porch
paint
add the trim
build the deck
pour the back patio (yes, it’s a crappy house but it has a deck and patio)
install all the fixtures
install the appliances
install the doors
carpet
tile
mud the sheetrock
and a bunch of other stuff I can’t remember

When I worked construction there’s no way our crew could have got all that stuff done in time. Of course we were very lazy, as far as I know the last house I worked on remains incomplete. And if it’s not incomplete I would like to apologise to the owners if they ever find the work glove jammed in the trim around the bathroom door. I was using it as a temporary shim and the helper nailed the wrong spot.

Now a warning:
DO NOT WATCH THIS
it is a stomach turning Joe Thiesman type scene. The interesting thing is to hear the folks talking in German or something and cussing in English. Really, don’t watch. And if you do watch remember who warned you. It’s the visual equivalent Daves Insanity Hot Sauce, you think it won’t make you quesy but it will.

A page that made me wish I was Jewish just so I could wear the gag:
nice tshirts