Guess who’s coming to dinner

Yesterday was SuperBowl Sunday, just in case you weren’t paying attention. Of course you know that the Seattle Ospreys got their wings clipped. They kept making decisions that frankly perplexed me. It was like right before the second half, they got confused, and never got it going again. As an official couch-coach, I must say I was not happy with their performance — but Tim had convinced me to root for the Steelers right before the game started anyways, which violates some law in Cleveland, but they’ll get over it. Still, such an American institution; friends, family, food, commercials — I think it is getting close to be an American holiday, and ranks as the second worst day in caloric intake (surpassing 4th of July and Christmas). And as I understand it, the most watched sporting event in the world with over a billion watchers. Either way, a good day.

Anyways, on the run-up to the game, I sit around with hours to kill. I caught the old movie “Guess who’s coming to dinner” on the classic movie channel. I do enjoy watching old films, and seeing the difference in culture/society, and how things have changed. The movie was made in 1967 and made quite a stir. It was about a color-blind young doey eyed girl who falls in love with Sidney Potier (a black man), and how they spring on both their parents that they are getting married, immediately, and the ramifications — in a very 1960’s hollywood sort of way.

I see things I remember from back then, and just enjoy the changes in society. They drive big cars, land yachts. How modern and newfangled and high end air-travel is considered. “Only 40 minutes to travel 400 miles” was stressed. How there’s a formality between guests and hosts as well as men and women (even husband and wife). While my memory is pretty vivid, I double checked with parents and others — was this just Hollywood overstatement, or real? According to those that remember more than I do, there was more defined roles and formality, but it was overstated in the movies. So it was both real and exaggerated.

They smoked and drank a lot back then. I remember the drinking. I have about a 3′ bottle of Smirnoff Vodka from the early 70’s, that came with a pump top — so my grandparents could make their nightly Martini’s. (I use it for coinage). It was ritual, Grandpa would come home from work and they would each have their one or two drinks of 2 or 3 pumps of straight vodka on the rocks (no vermouth) with those olives. I used to get the olives out of their drinks, and became an olive addict because of that, especially if they are infused with a Vodka. Today, I think most Americans would be concerned about people who had two drinks every night.

Watching the movie just had so many things that have changed. Successful people had black maids. Now we’ve progressed a lot; and they have ones from south of the border. Ahem. And just the dialog, “I must say that I’m a tad taken aback, you see. I didn’t expect my daughter to bring home a Negro.” and such things as the discussion over whether “Coloreds” were genetical infused with more rhythm than the white kids, and Sidney explaining that it was just “their music, so naturally they would be better at it”.

It was interesting because the movie was made by Hollywood liberals, after MLK and such. And they thought they were being so progressive. Just imagine, pushing the boundaries enough to think that such a thing could/should happen, and the scandal it must have caused. Despite that progressive attempt, their views were so shallow and idealistic — with a hint of backwards and victims of their own time. With the undertone of things that would be in poor taste today, like referring to a black person as a “fuzzy-wuzzy”. Or just the “honest” discussions about black athletes, or the future that their kids would have being pariah’s and facing all the bigots. It was both too idealistic, and yet in other ways, not optimistic enough — trying to be open minded in many ways, and yet being opaquely bigoted without knowing it.

There was a comment that was sort of the inspiration of this whole post. They were talking about kids, and Sidney said his fiance felt that all their kids would grow up to be President, but that he didn’t have that high of expectations and would be glad if they could ever grow up to be Secretary of State. Immediately I thought of Colin Powel and Condelezza Rice — and how far we’ve come in 40 years. They really couldn’t imagine a generation or two ago that our generation would have a biracial or black Secretary of State; and we’ve had two in the last/current administration. They even made the comments about being a “good liberal” and wanting progress — so imagine the surprise of people in 1967, if you could interrupt the movie back then, and tell them that not only would there be a couple black Secretary of State’s, but they’d be conservative/republicans. And most of America would be fine with that. It would be too ridiculous to consider, and would have lost the audience.

Looking back usually gives me hope for the future. I’ve known half a dozen bi-racial couples or kids. Especially in the military. It just isn’t that uncommon any more. We’re living in a society that they could barely fathom back then. And it reminds me that the young tend to be liberal and completely unsatisfied with the rate of change. They have no sense of history or time or progress — they just want things to be better/different, NOW, without the understanding of the disruption or costs. Old people have only a sense of time and history. They’re tired of change and want it to slow down or even stop. It’s kept coming at them, and they see only the costs and risks of that change — and they look back on their lives and society, and they just want to rest and have a little peace. While me… I’m middle aged. At 42 (soon), I look around and see both. I want things to be better, and see plenty of need for progress, and have to slow myself down and live in the moment, and not runaround stirring the pot. I want more as well. But I can also get some peace in watching an old movie, taking a breath, and realizing how much change we’ve had, and how much better things are than just a generation ago, or even a few years. I can watch a ball game on my high definition TV on cable, while eating our micro-waved crap-food like Buffalo Wings, Nachos and Pizza. I can type on my laptop computer, creating a blog post, to wirelessly upload to the internet. And realize that at no time in the past, and in most places in the world, do people have it this good.