Flying, and the people we hate!

I read an article , “Man, these people are annoying!
Airports and flights feature the same grating, all-too-familiar personalities” by James Wysong at MSNBC recently, and decided I would add a few of my own to his list of annoying people. I am sure you can add to this last as well, so feel free to do so below.

Flying, it is not so much fun anymore. Here are a few of my annoying people:

1). The Window Lover: The movie starts, and the flight attendants have asked people to please close their window shades. There is always one or two people, usually close to the screen on the sunny side of the plane that INSIST that their shade stay open because they want to read by natural light or some such lame excuse. Often, even if they agree to close the shade at an attendant’s request, 10 minutes later it opens again.

These are also the first people to yell when something interesting comes on the screen and someone is blocking their view.

2). The “I can’t count to two” person: This is the person who cannot understand the two item carry on limit. Their first item it typically the largest rolling bag they can sneak on board. They hit every seat and passenger as they try to roll it down the isle, and they fight for 10 minutes to make it fit overhead. Attached to the top of the rolling bag, attached to the handle, is a smaller bag, but since it was attached to the first, they believe it does not count as number two. This too is larger than the typical carry on, and this too must get squeezed overhead. Over one shoulder is a large computer bag, and this too goes in the overhead typically, but don’t worry, they will want it down 10 minutes into the flight, and they are next to the window. Or, it goes to take up the ENTIRE empty seat between you and them. If you had something there, it is pushed aside, or even shoved under the seat for you. If a woman, she is also carrying a large purse, a large jacket, and sometimes a second over the other shoulder open top carry on bag. If a man, they have their sports coat or suit jacket which must be carefully placed in a flat overhead space, nothing touching it. I have seen several people like this completely fill an entire overhead compartment by themselves, and then put nothing at their feet. (Why is this even allowed?)

3). The “overhead storage bin manager”. This is the person, and it is almost always a guy, who is part of #2 above, but also who gets on the plane VERY late, and brings ALL his luggage aboard. Since they are late, most of the overhead bins are full. But that will not stop them. These are the people who decide for everyone in the area that their stuff is much more important that yours, and begin to move many items to MANY surrounding bins, shoving other people’s bags into tight spaces to make room for their own, or turning and rearranging the overhead contents, often crushing other bags and items. They also crush everything in 3 or 4 surrounding bins to make room for moved items, and ignore comments from the owners of these other bags, because getting their large rolling bag into the overhead is all that really matters, your stuff be damned. Since they are always late, they are also standing in the isle doing this management job for many minutes while the plane doors are closed and now everyone is waiting for them to finish and sit down.

(I do not understand why more airlines simple stop allowing people to board with so much stuff. JUST SAY NO!)

4). The “your space is my space” person. Following on #2 and #3 above, often all this stuff will not fit overhead, and far be it to allow it to be checked. That means it has to go somewhere, and the empty space at my feet (because I checked my bag and only brought a small item on board) looks perfect for their 4th or 5th item. I usually refuse, I CHECKED MY BAG! If I wanted a bag at my feet, I would have brought my bag aboard.

The second class of these people often sits in the bulkhead row, and then shoves the stuff UNDER the seat, which means it is now at my feet. I have even had people do this when I DID have a bag at my feet, which usually gets shoved into the isle area at my feet to make room for their bag in my space. And these people will argue with you that THEY do not have any place for their items, so they have to put it there. I have offered to exchange seats so they can have a space for their bag. Their usual answer is, “No thanks, I always sit at the bulkhead!” They always sit there? And yet they still bring too much carry on stuff, and still do not know where to put it? I have a few suggestions!

5). The “I MUST recline” person. Far be it for me to explain why the already very tightly spaced seats in coach need to recline at all in the first place, but there is always someone who insists on reclining their seat the entire flight, even when they are sitting forward eating or reading. And that is what they do. They recline the seat, and then sit on the front edge of their seat, reading a book or magazine, often not even touching the seat back. And God forbid that you ask them to move the seat slightly forward, and they will scream your head off, or give you a dirty look, or pretend that they are deaf. One woman told me once that, “Everyone gets the same space, deal with it.” When I explained that I was in the last row that did not recline, and politely asked her again to move the seat forward, she said, “Well, that is your problem.” To make matters worse, she was wearing so much perfume, that it made me sick, and when she did recline, her head was inches from mine. She even complained that my overhead air vent was blowing on her head. I suggested again she recline less, and she reached up and turned off my air, and then yelled at me when I turned it back on. Even when she was eating and reading, much of the flight, leaning forward the entire time, she flat out refused to to move the seat forward.

6). The “Oh, were you sitting there?” person: This is the person who knows someone else on the plane. They walk down the isle, and then sit on someone’s arm rest, or lean against the back of someone’s seat, all the while talking at a very loud voice to their friend. Don’t even think about complaining, because they really need to talk to their friend, and you are just in their way.

There is a second class of this person, waiting in line for the bathroom. The edge of your setback is just perfect for them to lean on while they wait. Not only does this push your seat forward, but they are hovering over the person sitting behind you as well. Oh, were you sitting there?

7). The “enjoy my child” parent: Tray tables are wonderful things. They hold your coffee or drink, are a place to set your meal, and also hold your magazine or book while you read. Sometimes, they are even a place to lie your head for a quick, neck breaking nap! But they also seem to be the favorite play toy of the toddler sitting in the row behind you, next to the parent who is oblivious to the entire noise making, seat jarring concert their child is drumming out on the table itself. Obviously, these parents have never had a child sit on a plane behind them, and for some reason cannot make the leap of logic that if the table is attached to the seat in front of the child, that the bone jarring pounding and drumming their sweet little do-nothing-wrong child is making is also being felt by the entire next row! And if you ask the child, or even the parent, to please stop pounding, the parent cannot seem to look beyond their adorable child’s behavior and understand why you do not find this concert as amusing and entertaining as they do. Or, if you are very lucky, the parent will argue with you, and say something like, “Well, at least they are not crying.”

But wait, when they do cry, this tough love parent needs to let their child cry it out. So used to hearing the whining and crying of their little bundle of joy, they refuse to allow the child to control them, so the parent will continue doing whatever it is that they were doing, and let the child work it out on their own. 30 minutes of crying and whining later, most of the plane is ready to eject this child out the front door.

8). And lastly for me, the “oh, there was a line?” person. This is the person who, while many people are waiting in line, has “just one quick question” to ask, so walks past the entire line, and up to the counter, and blurts our their question to the person helping someone else. Of course, this one quick question says nothing to the length of the answer, and in an effort to be helpful, the clerk stops what they were doing, and tries to answer this person’s quick inquiry. Unfortunately, the answer is always more difficult to obtain and starts to require an exchange between the line cutter and the clerk. Slowly, the line cutter slides over into the place where the current customer WAS standing, and starts a rather lengthy process of questions and answers, and often ends in the agent issuing a new ticket, sitting on the phone for 10 minutes trying to find an answer, or handling the person’s entire itinerary, often taking 15 minutes or more.

When I questioned an agent once about this process that happened to me, she said, and I quote, “Oh, we do not want to upset the customer.” For the record, this is the same answer I got from a flight attendant when I asked why she allowed someone to come on board with 5 carry on bags. Uh, excuse me, but I am a customer, the one that followed the rules, and I am now upset. How about that?” The answer is usually no answer at all, just a blank look. Seems the rule of the game is to be annoying. You will get what you want, and they will not want to upset you in the process. Unfortunately for me, I have some civil decency, and truly believe in doing the right thing, so I guess I will just be annoyed!

Your mileage may vary……