Could airlines suck more?

As if it is not bad enough that they cram you like sardines into the plane, now the big airlines, starting with Northwest, and continuing you know damn well by other airlines, want to start charging you for little extras, like an aisle seat!

That is right, Northwest is considering a plan to start charging you extra money for the little things when you fly, starting with the right to sit in the aisle seat. No longer because you booked early, now you may have to pay more to get that extra breathing room the aisle affords. Already, United crammed their regular coach seats so close together, that the last time I flew United coach, I got a claustrophobic attack. When the person in front of me reclined their seat, I could not even see my tray table any more. And they did this to create Coach Plus, a section of the plane that cost the average flyer like most of us more money. That area has the leg and seat room of what United coach USED to look like. And to get that extra room did United remove a row or two of seats? No! They pushed the regular coach seats even closer together. And of course, United now advertises the most legroom in coach. BULL S*&T! Only if you happen to be a 25,000 mile a year flyer or more (Premier Plus) can you get these seats, or, if available, pay $50 to $100 more a flight for the privilege. The average Joe is stuck in Coach MINUS, with the shortest legroom of ANY carrier I have been on in the last 3 years. And to advertise the opposite is just wrong, especially when the average flyer cannot get a seat in that section or does not even know it exists. And United wonders why less people fly them now? Personally, as someone who used to be a 50,000+ miles a year flyer on United, I refuse to fly them unless I have zero choice.

So how does one cope? So far, I reserve a seat on the aisle. At least that gives me a little breathing room. But Northwest and the other big carriers know this, so now they want to charge a premium to sit there. Hang on a sec! The airlines configure the planes and seats, not the plane manufacturer. This means that they cram seats so tight as to make them so uncomfortable you will be willing to pay more to have a better seat. What a load of crap. Imagine Apple selling a computer to which they purposely add a flaw, and then charging you more for the option to buy a better machine that does not have that flaw. I see it as the same thing, and would be reason enough to stop buying their computers.

But wait, there is more! There are also discussions of charging to carry or check luggage on the plane. After all, you’re flying on a trip, why the hell do you need to bring clothes with you? And they are also discussing charging for water and soda pop like they do for beer and wine. And of course, they already charge for food, something that use to always be included for free. Well, at least the crappy movies are free. But the headphone jacks on many planes are now non-standard, so you have to buy the $3 headsets to listen.

Makes me wonder what is next? Maybe they will start reducing the oxygen in the plane (even more, they already did that about 10 years ago) and start charging money to use the oxygen system if you feel light headed. After all, they need a reason to charge to use those pesky little masks above the seats! Hey, how about charging a fee to be the first onto the Emergency PLUS slide in the event of an emergency. Probably get $50 a person for that! And just wait for the charge to use the air ramp to board! “Oh, you want to board the plane, well, there is a $5 charge for that unless you want to climb a ladder!” How about fifty cents an hour to use the reading light? Maybe a $1 an hour to have cool air blow on you. And I can just imagine the coin slot on the plan lavatory!

Basically, big airlines suck, and they now want to suck even more. And they complain that their passenger count is down. Gee, you think?

I fly Southwest. Yea, a lot of you may think of this as a bus in the air, or do not like the “cattle call” to board, but they have one of the best on-time records in the industry, lots of leg room in comfortable leather seats, happy and friendly flight staff, and they are consistently reasonable and good. So is Jet Blue, who worked hard to become the cross-country Southwest equivalent. Even if you get stuck in a middle seat, their planes are still more comfortable than an aisle seat on United.

I say vote with your wallet. Send a message to these carriers that you will not accept even worse service with even higher prices. Fly Southwest, ATA, and Jet Blue when you can, and watch how much fun you can still have flying.

And to Northwest and United for your lousy business practices and yet even more reasons to badly treat your coach passengers, I award you both the giant raspberry! Get a clue: If a flyer gets treated like crap the first time they fly your airline, it is unlikely they will come back. You want more flyers? Start treating them like you TRULY appreciate them as customers, and stop cramming more of us into an already overcrowded plane. Give us some room please, and maybe, just maybe, we will come back again.