Big Mistake, Apple

The new iLife ad copy. I can’t believe this:

“It’s like Microsoft Office for the rest of your life. Introducing iLife ’04”

Friends, this turneth my stomach. It causeth me to run for the bathroom. It leaveth me in nausea and confusion. Hear me, o Cupertino …

“The LAST THING I want in my life is anything having to do with Microsoft! This is a STUPID STUPID STUPID (3X) way to sell iLife!!!”

There. Do I feel better? Not much. But I can tell you this: that leaves such an unwholesome taste in my psyche that it will discourage me from buying iLife. I will have to hold my nose and close my eyes to ever order the bleeding thing. I want nothing to do with Microsoft, ever, for all time, under any circumstances, if at all possible. Die, Microsoft, die. I pull your plug. You are expired. Go home. Take your zillions and go live in Afghanistan where they can use the money. Begone. Vanish. And do NOT have a nice day.

Yes, yes, yes, I know: they’re addressing Windows users, who vastly outnumber Mac users. Apple is pimping for hardware sales, obviously. But it still stinks. The damn server knows I’m visiting with a Mac, so put up a different ad for Mac users, you freaking pathetic scum-sucking mercenary WIMPS! Show some dignity.