A New Nano Zepto?

Here it is again, folks. Just in time to take you away from all that Christmas shopping. Apple wants you to wait for Christmas in January, like the rest of us Mac-heads.

I have grown to dislike the rampant rumors about soon-to-be Apple iPods and iMacs. They are nothing like I think they should be. iPod coffee pots, iMac kitchen aids, and all that stuff. (Nice cartoon, Donny – you forgot the bun warmer.)

Now it comes to light from a *very* reliable source (cough, cough gizmodo, cough) that Apple will release a new iPod nano Zepto that is even smaller than the tiny ones they sell now. (When did Apple start naming their products after the Marx brothers?)

The specifications a bit incredible too. The new iPod nano Zepto holds 12 million songs, and is the size of the period at the end of this sentence. Worst of all, its battery life is only 12 seconds. Sorry, no microscope is included for you to use to be able to see hooking up the included power cord to this thing. Of course, the new iPod nano Zepto only costs 12 cents a piece, so you should buy a dozen or so, just in case you lose one or two of them.

Sheesh! This is as bad as those little Italian cars they used to sell, which were so small you had to buy one for each foot.

So, never mind. If Apple wants to get that small, I’m going to stick to my Shuffle – once I can locate it again in my pants pocket. I know its in there, somewhere. It is the last place I had it.

At least it is better that what happened to my poor wife. She bought a new Shuffle and put all her songs on it. (Neal Diamond never wrote that many songs anyway, you know?) But then she put her new Shuffle in her purse and never saw it again. Typical. (There’s still things in there from 20 years ago when we got married.)

I know! I am going to start up an iPod accessories company. I will sell a bright yellow, three foot long lanyard, with blinking LEDs and a beeper that you can ring by calling it up on your cell phone. I will make a fortune selling it to other happy iPod owners who keep losing their Shuffles, nanos and iPod video players. I will probably make a six foot model for people who continually misplace their iBooks.

Well, you all can hold off for the new, advanced, microscopic iPod nano Zepto if you want. Me, I’m buying a ton of Apple printed full color photo albums for all my grandkids, of their last summer trip out here to see Grandpa and Nanna. They are tiny too. 2 1/2 by 4 inches, but only cost $5 bucks a piece. Pretty darn cute for kids.

Merry Christmas to everyone of my readers (all three of you)!

Regards,
Roger Born
“Sorry. No Refunds.”