My cat can beat-up your cat!

My cat can beat-up your cat!

It was about a year ago that my wife and I decided to get new carpeting. She was pregnant, and we had the cash. We decided to replace the worn, old carpet in the living room, dining room, den, and front hallway that had been in the house when we purchased it four years ago. It was an old shag carpet that was as ugly as it was worn out.

After halfway through ripping out the old carpet in preparation for the carpet installers the next day, I made a horrifying discovery. My cat, named Parker, had done what most male cats do. He had marked his territory. For those who don’t have, or have ever owned a cat, they mark their territory by peeing. And there is nothing this side of a skunk that stinks worse that cat-pee. I had never really noticed before, as he did it in very small amounts over a long period of time. But once I started pulling and ripping the old carpet out, whoo-boy did I notice it! Yuck!

So it was decided by me that the cat would have to go. Initially, because it was summer, that just meant he would not come in the house any longer until we found him a suitable home. Which suited Parker just fine, actually. For the four years he lived in this house, he was always trying to escape. An outdoor cat at heart, I would not let him out for fear of him either getting flies or hit by a car. Eventually early last year, I decided to let him go out. And once the new carpet was in, he stayed out. And happy.

Finding him a home was not easy. No one I knew wanted a cat. Parker is unique in that he is “fixed”, declawed, and has a little nub where a tail should be. He was like that before he came to us, though, so please don’t yell at me for declawing a cat. I know some of you hate the idea, but I didn’t do it. Parker was a stray who showed up at our last house and never left.

As winter neared, I feared that Parker would not survive the cold weather. But hey, if the local squirrels can make it, so can the cat! Parker grew more fur, was fed every day, and slept in the box with the old blanket I gave him all winter long. No ill effects, and when I did give in and let him come inside, he simply ran right back out. He does not go more than fifty-feet from our house, but he lives outside now, full-time.

Then, just a few weeks ago now, someone found an old flyer we had hung at a local pet store offering Parker to a new home. They called, asked if we still had him and if he was still looking for a new home, and they came and got it.

When they showed up, two women and a man, I told them that Parker does not like anyone to hold him much (Except for myself, whom he lets hold him for hours if I want.) He also does not like car rides. “No problem, I will hold him in the car until we get him to his new home!” one of the women tells me.

I waved goodbye as their car pulled away, Parker gone forever.

Forever lasted a few hours, when I happened to go outside to check the mail only to find Parker sitting on the front porch, meowing at me. Curious, I checked my caller ID for the phone number of the people who had come and picked him up. I asked the woman who answered if they had changed their mind. She said, “We got about a half-block away when the cat freaked out. She starched my sister really bad, bit my cousin (The man) who was driving, and started to attack me! She we opened the car door and he ran out!”

So, in essence, my cat beat the crap out of three adult humans in a car. Parker, who has no front claws, no tail, and is usually a pretty mellow fellow, beat up three people all by himself.

My wife and I decided to take down all the “Free Cat” signs around town. Parker my be an outdoor only cat now, but I think Parker has made it clear that this is HIS home, and has no intention of going anywhere else.