Icicle Lights on Crack

OK, it’s time for my annual diatribe against icicle lights. The new neighbor across the road put his up Thanksgiving weekend. They are the new generation of icicle lights, AKA icicle lights on crack. One section blinks, another section glitters, all out of sequence, some sections slow, some sections fast, some sections clear, some sections color. It makes me crazy.

My unscientific estimate puts icicle lights in the top 95% of outdoor holiday lighting in our county. I think I’ll rename them Stepford lights.

OK, that’s it. Not one more word from me about icicle lights this holiday season. I mean it.

I’ll have all my lights up by the end of today. I haven’t decided yet just which theme I’ll go with this year, the green swags with red bows are out. Someone down on 400 South already has those. It really is difficult finding something besides Icicle lights (oops…sorry, I said it again) for exterior decorating.

Down at the local Ben Franklin they had some light strands with bass and lures, but I just couldn’t figure out a way to reconcile fishing with Christmas in my mind. Well, I could, but it’s a stretch…hmmm…fishing for gifts? luring people to the mall? bass heads roasting on an open fire?

The tree is up. It’s a white artificial tree in it’s third year of service. I had the brilliant idea of using only the red poinsettia lights this year. I thought it would be beautiful. I got all done stringing the lights last night, turned them on, and realized it looked like the tree was bleeding. Back to the drawing board.