Thanks for the Memories

This Month: Thanks for the Memories

OK, OK, so this is a MAJOR cop out on my part. I have two and a half hours before the deadline for this column, I still don’t have any inspiration as to what I want to discuss this month, and I am extremely tired. I’m not about to go brainstorming and burning the midnight oil to perfect this month’s Wall Writings. It’s just not going to happen.

So, what to do? Well, this is November, right? And you know what holiday is in November, right?

You got it. Armistice Day.

Oh yeah, Thanksgiving is in there somewhere, too. So, I’d like to thank the Pilgrims for creating this wonderful holiday that’s gonna save me from a missed deadline. Without further ado, this is, in no particular order, what I am thankful for in regards to my Macintosh.

What I am Thankful For (sounds kind of like a sixth-grade writing assignment, doesn’t it?)
I am thankful for Apple. No Apple, no Macs.

I am thankful for the Apple Educator Program. Without it, teachers couldn’t buy Macs at discounted prices.

I am thankful that my father is a teacher. If he wasn’t, he’d have never bought a Mac through the aforementioned Educator Program. I might still be using an Apple IIgs.

I am thankful that my dad had the foresight to upgrade the RAM in our first computer, an LC, to 4 Megs as soon as he bought it. Without that, I would’ve never been able to run System 7.0.

I am thankful for the PowerPC chip. Without it, Apple would have never slashed its prices on their 68040-based models, and I would have never been able to convince my parents to buy a new computer, which turned out to be a LC 575. Thanks again to the Apple Educator Program, too!

I am thankful for Claris. If it wasn’t for their Works program, I’d still be forced to use a pirated copy of a Works program from that “other” software company. (That program has been long-since trashed, by the way.)

I am thankful for shareware. Without it, I’d never be able to fill up my hard drive with useless stuff I’ll only occasionally use.

I am thankful for the United States Military. Without them, there wouldn’t be an Internet for computer users to surf on.

I am thankful for Connectix. Without them, there would be no RAM Doubler, and without it I wouldn’t be able to run Netscape Navigator on my LC 575.

I am thankful for Mountain Dew. Without it, I’d never be able to stay awake long enough to finish writing this column.

I am thankful for Bungie. Without them, I would have no Mac-only killer games that I could taunt my PC-using friends with.

I am thankful for Iomega. Guess why. Come on; I dare ya. You’ll never guess why I’m thankful for Iomega.

I’m thankful for Mark Wall and his great DOCMaker program. No DOCMaker, no My Mac. ‘Nuff said.

I’m thankful for turkey. Why? Well, um, because it’s Thanksgiving, that’s why! Not everything in the world has to do with computers!

I am thankful for many other things that are certainly escaping my mind right now. I’d never be able to count every application, every shareware extension, every system beep, and every little tidbit about my Macintosh that I like or that I’m thankful for. Also, keep in mind that this list is quite rushed and, once again, extremely incomplete. However, there’s one other thing that I’m thankful for that I simply have to mention.

I am thankful for Bill Gates. Without him, there would be no Microsoft, and Mac users worldwide would have nobody to make fun of. 🙂

Parting is such sweet sorrow
Well, that’s all for this month. Feel free to flame me if you are upset that I’ve only given you six hundred words of wisdom this time around. On the other hand, if you prefer the length of this column over my usual length, well… don’t tell me, OK? 🙂

I’ll leave you with two parting reminders. Be sure to vote on November 5. Even more importantly, mark Friday, November 22 on your calendar and be sure to catch the first showing of the new Star Trek movie. I’ll see you at the theater.

Until next month, have a Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. Oh, and live long and prosper, too.